Holy Crap! It’s the Weekend! (How did THAT happen?!)

We’ll start this week’s edition of the Bachelor Girl Weekend Roundup with an event that I have been waiting my whole life for, it seems. I will preface this performance with a headline from the December 7, 2009 edition of The San Francisco Examiner: “Cirque de la Symphonie dazzles and defies death”!! This is a nationally-touring act comprised of world-champion athletes and performers; this isn’t just a bunch of kids from a dance class dangling from swings and stuff. They bring Cirque-du-Soleil-style jugglers, dancers, trapeze artists and the like to attempt death defying stunts above a full symphony orchestra, with no nets and no helmets for the musicians. Think about it – this is what the Shreveport Symphony needs, to inject some high-drama risk into their performances. If the Board of Directors won’t do anything to help (and it’s now publicly obvious that they won’t), maybe a little knife-throwing and fire-breathing might fix their budget. Friday night, 7:30, down on the riverfront at Riverview Theater. I’ll be there, wondering if it’s difficult to remove a piccolo from…

One of country music’s all-time greats will be in town this Friday at the Horseshoe Riverdome. The Coal Miner’s Daughter herself, Ms. Loretta Lynn, will take the stage around 8:00 p.m. You can get your tickets at the gift shop inside the lobby of the hotel. I love Loretta Lynn, even if it’s not because of her contribution to country music but because she made an album with Jack White. The woman has some stones to have survived that business.

We have a couple of great theatre offerings going on this weekend starting with the opening of Dixie Swim Club Friday night through the next weekend. Dixie Swim Club is a kind of like The Big Chill without the death, the sex and the dudes. It’s a story about the friendships that you’re sometimes lucky enough to find that last forever. Some really talented local Shreveport actresses will perform at The Woman’s Department Club, next door to the old (and soon to be rebuilt) theatre on Margaret Street off Line Avenue. Check the box office for showtimes.

On the local music scene, there’s a group of guys from all around here playing at Horseshoe’s CMT Crossroads Bar Friday called Magnolia Brown. I haven’t seen them live yet, but I checked out their MySpace Music page, and man, I was blown away. They play everything from Kashmir to Paul McCartney to Ozzy and Peter Gabriel, and they do it all really well. There’s no cover at Crossroads, and it’s a really nice place. This is the perfect way to enjoy the beginning of the weekend. They’ll start at 8:00 p.m.

Also Friday, Bachelor Girl favorites Everyday Hemingway will play at Harley’s Pub (1835 Old Minden Road) in Bossier City, just down Texas Street from Crossroads, so it’s an easy hop and a skip from one bar to the other to catch both these bands. Hmmm…not a bad idea…and NO COVER at Harley’s either! Harley’s shows kick off at 9:00 p.m. now on Fridays.

Saturday gets off and running early with an actual literary event. The Written in the Stars Writers’ Conference takes place from 7:30 a.m. to 9:30 p.m., with workshops and book signings planned. You have to register to participate but not to attend. Participation includes pitch meetings with actual publishers! This conference has a little bit of the romance-genre slant, but a book idea is a book idea, so any of you aspiring authors out there looking for your shot, add a sex scene or maybe some light bondage to your plot, and head on down to the the Holiday Inn Financial Plaza near Pines Road!

Saturday also brings a rarity to these parts: an actual touring Broadway musical, and a Tony-award-winning one at that. Cabaret takes The Strand stage at 8:00 p.m. and features the classic musical about bad girl gone good right before World War II breaks out. Our heroine, gainfully employed at the Kit Kat Lounge, meets a serviceman who sweeps her away to safety after Hitler begins his assault on Europe. I’ve had the privilege of actually seeing some Broadway productions, and in my opinion, there are no bad ones. These are spectacles totally unlike anything you see on television or in the movies. Sometimes, even if you don’t like a particular story line, just watching how the actors recreate a story onstage is entertainment enough, e.g., Mary Poppins. I saw the movie enough to make me vomit during my childhood, but the Broadway show was amazing. [Ed. note: And Cabaret is one of Kelly's favorite musicals! Life is a cabaret, old chum!]

There are some great bands playing Saturday night around here. Dan Garner brings Cookie and the Kingcakes to Lee’s on East Kings Highway. The Jaguar Sharks play at Bear’s on the corner of Fairfield Avenue and I-20. If you like that classic California punk style, like Rancid and Social Distortion and to a lesser, Irish extent, The Pogues, then you’ll really like The Jaguar Sharks. Seven Hours to Southland is a southern-rock band who just finished recording their first album in Nashville and are back at The Rustic Cowboy. In Bossier, both Benton Road bars have good shows planned. Muddy Waters offers PocketChange with no cover and more flat-screens than one man can watch (and believe me, we can watch plenty). Terry’s at Cash Point hosts local veterans Lost Boys.

The Robinson Film Center presents an interesting concert film Saturday night. Serj Tankian performs with the Aukland Philharmonic Orchestra in a film titled Elect the Dead Symphony. The System of a Down frontman has an amazing voice. It’s really unique and although not similar-sounding to the late, great Freddie Mercury, it’s similarly powerful and just as captivating the former Queen lead singer’s.

Last, but certainly not least, Shreveport’s finest alternative lifestyle club, Central Station, will host the Miss Gay Louisiana pageant (site temporarily disabled) at midnight. There will be music and other throbbing things, and, I assume, some guys dressed up in “cock” tail attire…Sorry, couldn’t help myself. If you are still up and about and want to see some things that you’ll only laugh about much later, check it out.

Your dazzling and death-defying
Chris