Tonight, I did something I desperately needed to do:
I took a 10-million-milligram chill pill in the form of some incredible live music.
Guys, I’ve been going sideways this week. I am not even kidding. The writing deadlines were piling up, forming a 50-foot, loosely stacked, swaying tower of blocks that was about to crash down on my head any second. The family business needed (still needs) me. I’m planning a Bachelor Girl event (details forthcoming). My collaborative project needs time, attention and a metric assload of creativity. And frankly, I felt like all of the above were sucking my will to live.
When I actually said to Russell today, “OH MY GOD YOU ARE STIFLING ME,” like I was f–king Charlotte Perkins Gilman or somebody, I realized it was time to Get Some Perspective.
(Yeah, Russell likes to come over here sometimes and make smartass comments and get us all riled up, and it’s totally true that he can be a real jackass and that there is no end to the crap I put up with from him, but it’s also true that he takes an awful lot crap from me, too. And see, Russell Crap comes in small, measured, regular doses, whereas Kelly Crap comes far less frequently, but when it comes it does so in giant, whop-you-upside-yo’-head Injections of Dramatic. The kind of injections that leave you wandering around with no pants on and talking to garbage cans for three days until somebody finally calls the cops and they take you to the psych ward in a paddy wagon.)
So after I went all Zelda Fitzgerald on Russell, I decided to accept my friend’s invitation to go hear him jam with a band at a bar in Bossier.
It was exactly what I needed.
Watching those guys get up onstage and play their hearts out and just generally tear that mother up, I suddenly remembered why I do what I do.
I love it.
That’s all any of us are doing, that’s all it boils down to: it’s what we love to do.
It took watching other people doing what they love to do to remind me that I do what I do because I love it, too.
Yes, the deadlines get frustrating, and the subjects I write about aren’t always a party in my pants or anything, but the fact is, the worst minute I ever spent tap-tap-tapping on this keyboard was still pretty damn good, and that’s a hell of a way to make a living.
And that’s true for any career, not just writing and music. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, a lawyer, a seamstress, a nurse, a video editor, a transcriptionist or a hotdog vendor, if you’re doing what you love, it’s not always going to be easy, but it is always going to be an incredible blessing.
So the moral of the story is, I need to get organized, eat something besides Diet Coke every once in a while, ask for help when I need it, cut myself a little slack and stop being such an insufferable wench.
Oh, yeah: and remember to be grateful.
Your rejuvenated
Kel
I’m sorry you’ve been under stress. Not cool. But, I’m glad you were able to find something to help get you over the hump. Kudos for being grateful! If I could make myself take a dose of that everyday, I’d be far better off. Hope today’s an inspiring, interesting day!
Cristy, you’ve always got such a good attitude about everything. You’re one of the people who inspire me to BE grateful in the first place!
Aww, what a sweetie you are! I’m glad to hear it!
As for being unreasonable, someone else said it better:
“Any artist should be grateful for a naïve grace which puts him beyond the need to reason elaborately.â€
Saul Bellow
Still, I’m glad you found a way to deal with the stress. Hope things improve now that you can look at it with a new frame of mind…
No one can ever accuse me of reasoning elaborately, that’s for sure
apologies may be made out to Russell W. Crews in any amount you feel would be appropriate.
and yes, i dare anyone to sit through one of your diatribes and not feel like they just left the principals office of a 1960’s era catholic school…
Say what you will about my “diatribes,” but I have never ONCE smacked you with a ruler OR accused you of making the baby Jesus cry.
Things might’ve turned out differently if I had.
Yours in Christ,
Sister Mary Frances
Ah ha ha ha ha. I love it. I know some of those teaching nuns. They are half my height and still scare the mess out of me.
Thumbs up to gratitude and live music!
Bea, I bet you’re a fun person to go hear live music WITH!
It’s waaay easy to forget to be grateful when you’re under lots of stress, so props to you!
Thanks, Belle!
boy do I understand… looking forward to the highland jazz and blues festival.. me, my little dog oscar, vendor food, and great music. heaven!!
talk to you soon
I hope you and Oscar have a WONDERFUL time, honey! I MISS YOUR FACE! Can’t wait to see you next.
So very tru, Kel, on both the chill pill and how great it is to be able to earn a living doing what you love. From my side, I have to remind myself that it isn’t necessary to be giddy with glee every freakin’ pressure filled minute to still be one lucky, lucky (and – ahem – dare I say deservedly so) woman.
Best, Stasha
Thanks, Stasha! You know, you’re one of my big inspirations. Keep up the wonderful work!
So when are you going to write the this-is-how-I-got-to-where-I-am-and-how-you-can-too post?
You know, I’ve thought about writing that post, but I was always worried I would sound like an asshole.
I think you just gave me permission, though.
“like I was f–king Charlotte Perkins Gilman or somebody”
LMAO.
I know what you mean. Some days I’m like, “wow I can’t believe that person just called me to yell at me about that, and really? I can’t run that?!”
But then, when I’m sitting at my desk, planning the look of the next issue, I get an overwhelming sense of how happy I am to be doing exactly what I want to be doing.
You’re an inspiration, keep doing it!
You know one of the things that makes me REALLY happy about my job?
Working with people like YOU.
Good for you! And it can be difficult asking for help when you’re used to doing it on your own, so that’s a fab ‘resolution’ to make to yourself
Oh, Ann. That is one resolution I DESPERATELY need to work on!