The Language of Love

March 9th, 2010

The Guy and I have our own language.

Non, ce n’est pas le français.

Or-nay is-ay it-ay ig-pay atin-lay.

Thank God, it’s not baby talk, either. (I attempted to provide an example of baby talk here, but I almost barfed on my keyboard. You guys will just have to use your imaginations, OK?)

Rather, our private language consists entirely of movie dialogue.

Sometimes, other people get it. Most of the time, they just think we’re retarded and/or overdramatic, which, of course, we often are.

—-

It all started when we watched Away We Go. Both The Guy and I have unabashed crushes on Maggie Gyllenhaal (”I would step over your dead body to get to Maggie Gyllenhaal,” I informed him during the Oscars), so we got the biggest kick out of her character, the pretentious, New-Age-y, radical “LN.” Now, whenever we see a child in a stroller, one of us inevitably turns, looks at the other levelly and says, “Mama, in this house, we carry our babies.”

The habit really ramped up when we watched one of our favorite movies, O Brother, Where Art Thou?, together. Now, when one drops something or stubs a toe or falls in the shower and exclaims, “Damn!”, the other finishes with, “We’re in a tight spot!”

Any time anyone leaves anywhere, anytime, we announce, “He [or she] up and R-U-N-N-O-F-T.” The Guy is particularly fond of, “Damnit, I am the paterfamilias!” and “I’m a Dapper Dan man!”

Whenever I finish a conversation with him, rather than “I love you” or “bye,” I say, “I’ve spoken my piece and counted to 10.” And then I either hang up or walk away.

It wouldn’t matter if one of us were driving, rewiring an electrical socket or performing neurosurgery; if you shout “SQUIRREL!!” and point somewhere in the distance, we will stop what we’re doing and look.

Sad.

This one drives The Guy crazy, but it’s my favorite:

“Hand me that [insert item here - wallet, screwdriver, pen, toilet paper, .38 Smith & Wesson, etc.].”

“Which one is it?”

“It’s the one that says ‘Bad Motherf–ker.’”

As a theology major, The Guy knows every word of Ezekiel 25:17; it’s one of the things that made me fall in love with him.

It’s not just movies, though; our neurosis also extends to theatre. Ever since we saw Tennessee Williams’s Summer and Smoke together at Marjorie Lyons Playhouse, our weekend plans have invariably included at least one suggestion of “ice cream and picktcha puzzles.”

Pretty soon, we’re not going to say a single word to each other that wasn’t written by someone else or that anyone except Roger Ebert can understand.

Maybe we should start going to the opera more…

…or on second thought, maybe not.

Your quoting
Kel

Holy Crap! It’s the Weekend! (How did THAT happen?!)

March 4th, 2010

We’ll start this week’s edition of the Bachelor Girl Weekend Roundup with an event that I have been waiting my whole life for, it seems. I will preface this performance with a headline from the December 7, 2009 edition of The San Francisco Examiner: “Cirque de la Symphonie dazzles and defies death”!! This is a nationally-touring act comprised of world-champion athletes and performers; this isn’t just a bunch of kids from a dance class dangling from swings and stuff. They bring Cirque-du-Soleil-style jugglers, dancers, trapeze artists and the like to attempt death defying stunts above a full symphony orchestra, with no nets and no helmets for the musicians. Think about it – this is what the Shreveport Symphony needs, to inject some high-drama risk into their performances. If the Board of Directors won’t do anything to help (and it’s now publicly obvious that they won’t), maybe a little knife-throwing and fire-breathing might fix their budget. Friday night, 7:30, down on the riverfront at Riverview Theater. I’ll be there, wondering if it’s difficult to remove a piccolo from…

One of country music’s all-time greats will be in town this Friday at the Horseshoe Riverdome. The Coal Miner’s Daughter herself, Ms. Loretta Lynn, will take the stage around 8:00 p.m. You can get your tickets at the gift shop inside the lobby of the hotel. I love Loretta Lynn, even if it’s not because of her contribution to country music but because she made an album with Jack White. The woman has some stones to have survived that business.

We have a couple of great theatre offerings going on this weekend starting with the opening of Dixie Swim Club Friday night through the next weekend. Dixie Swim Club is a kind of like The Big Chill without the death, the sex and the dudes. It’s a story about the friendships that you’re sometimes lucky enough to find that last forever. Some really talented local Shreveport actresses will perform at The Woman’s Department Club, next door to the old (and soon to be rebuilt) theatre on Margaret Street off Line Avenue. Check the box office for showtimes.

On the local music scene, there’s a group of guys from all around here playing at Horseshoe’s CMT Crossroads Bar Friday called Magnolia Brown. I haven’t seen them live yet, but I checked out their MySpace Music page, and man, I was blown away. They play everything from Kashmir to Paul McCartney to Ozzy and Peter Gabriel, and they do it all really well. There’s no cover at Crossroads, and it’s a really nice place. This is the perfect way to enjoy the beginning of the weekend. They’ll start at 8:00 p.m.

Also Friday, Bachelor Girl favorites Everyday Hemingway will play at Harley’s Pub (1835 Old Minden Road) in Bossier City, just down Texas Street from Crossroads, so it’s an easy hop and a skip from one bar to the other to catch both these bands. Hmmm…not a bad idea…and NO COVER at Harley’s either! Harley’s shows kick off at 9:00 p.m. now on Fridays.

Saturday gets off and running early with an actual literary event. The Written in the Stars Writers’ Conference takes place from 7:30 a.m. to 9:30 p.m., with workshops and book signings planned. You have to register to participate but not to attend. Participation includes pitch meetings with actual publishers! This conference has a little bit of the romance-genre slant, but a book idea is a book idea, so any of you aspiring authors out there looking for your shot, add a sex scene or maybe some light bondage to your plot, and head on down to the the Holiday Inn Financial Plaza near Pines Road!

Saturday also brings a rarity to these parts: an actual touring Broadway musical, and a Tony-award-winning one at that. Cabaret takes The Strand stage at 8:00 p.m. and features the classic musical about bad girl gone good right before World War II breaks out. Our heroine, gainfully employed at the Kit Kat Lounge, meets a serviceman who sweeps her away to safety after Hitler begins his assault on Europe. I’ve had the privilege of actually seeing some Broadway productions, and in my opinion, there are no bad ones. These are spectacles totally unlike anything you see on television or in the movies. Sometimes, even if you don’t like a particular story line, just watching how the actors recreate a story onstage is entertainment enough, e.g., Mary Poppins. I saw the movie enough to make me vomit during my childhood, but the Broadway show was amazing. [Ed. note: And Cabaret is one of Kelly's favorite musicals! Life is a cabaret, old chum!]

There are some great bands playing Saturday night around here. Dan Garner brings Cookie and the Kingcakes to Lee’s on East Kings Highway. The Jaguar Sharks play at Bear’s on the corner of Fairfield Avenue and I-20. If you like that classic California punk style, like Rancid and Social Distortion and to a lesser, Irish extent, The Pogues, then you’ll really like The Jaguar Sharks. Seven Hours to Southland is a southern-rock band who just finished recording their first album in Nashville and are back at The Rustic Cowboy. In Bossier, both Benton Road bars have good shows planned. Muddy Waters offers PocketChange with no cover and more flat-screens than one man can watch (and believe me, we can watch plenty). Terry’s at Cash Point hosts local veterans Lost Boys.

The Robinson Film Center presents an interesting concert film Saturday night. Serj Tankian performs with the Aukland Philharmonic Orchestra in a film titled Elect the Dead Symphony. The System of a Down frontman has an amazing voice. It’s really unique and although not similar-sounding to the late, great Freddie Mercury, it’s similarly powerful and just as captivating the former Queen lead singer’s.

Last, but certainly not least, Shreveport’s finest alternative lifestyle club, Central Station, will host the Miss Gay Louisiana pageant (site temporarily disabled) at midnight. There will be music and other throbbing things, and, I assume, some guys dressed up in “cock” tail attire…Sorry, couldn’t help myself. If you are still up and about and want to see some things that you’ll only laugh about much later, check it out.

Your dazzling and death-defying
Chris

21361

March 2nd, 2010

I pride myself on my creativity and my imagination. I really do.

Even more than that, I pride myself on the fact that there is not, there simply can’t be, another girl in the whole, wide world who lusts after Henry Rollins with the fervor and intensity I do.

But boys and girls, I’ve thought about it all day, and I still can’t come up with an introduction that does justice to the following. Maybe it can be done, but I guess it takes a writer a lot more skillful (and a lot less impassioned) than I am.

With lascivious feelings in my, er, heart, I hereby admit defeat and turn the floor over to my future baby daddy, Mr. Henry Rollins.

OMG MUSCLES.

Preach it, brotha man.

Support our troops...with hotness.

—-

You’re a musician, spoken word artist, actor, radio DJ, writer and activist (among other things) who maintains a grueling tour schedule. How do you manage everything?

I multi-task as much as I can. When on tour, I get a lot of writing done for the next book project. There’s time in the day, I can get my workouts in, etc. When off the road, I can get a lot of things done. I have worked on book stuff while on film sets. The main objective is to keep stress levels low and get as much restorative sleep as possible. Those two things makes the rest of it possible. I don’t have a lot else going on either, so this is what I do.

Do you think I’m pretty?

Well, of course.

As an activist, you campaign for human rights causes all over the world. What are the most important human rights issues the world faces today?

Poverty and food distribution. We are already facing severe water problems all over the world as well. I think it will become a “real” issue when western countries start feeling it. For now it’s happening in countries that are feeling the lash of globalization and climate change.

Besides supporting you and buying books and records, what can we do to impart change?

I wouldn’t think that supporting me does any good for the world but there are many organizations out there that you might find yourself interested in giving some time to. There are things happening in your area that you can be part of. I really think that if people just looked around a little more and took the smallest amount of action, you would see a lot of change for the better. Helping others is often one of the better parts of the day.

How did you make the transition between your different careers?

I don’t. It’s all work to me. They all require dedication and focus. I am not really equipped to do any of the things I do so I just go for it as best I can and try not to get fired.

Did you make a conscious decision to pursue these things, or did the opportunities present themselves first?

For the most part, the opportunities came to me. The music lead to the film and voice over work, the talking shows have taken me to other things as well. I come from the minimum wage working world and have been extremely lucky for the opportunities that have come my way.

What advice can you give Bachelor Girl readers about being ready to take advantage of opportunities that come their way?

Be prepared to look foolish, it’s part of growth. You have to be ready to go for things that you might not be all that prepared for and most importantly, don’t take yourself too seriously. Failure is just a lesson and a temporary setback.

I’m using this opportunity to show you how great I am.

You’re doing a great job.

We enjoy reading your dispatches from the often exotic and remote places you go on tour. How do you maintain such a high level of passion and enthusiasm in less than ideal circumstances?

It’s often the more intense locations that make for a more emotional connection to the location. When I am in Africa or Asia, things are often less than good but extremely vivd and it’s hard not to be affected by it all.

What’s a bad day for you?

Not getting enough things done. I am usually on a schedule and not getting all the things done gets to me. Having to do things without enough sleep is a drag but it happens all the time for me. Past that, all my days are pretty much the same.

What’s your favorite color? Is it brown? My eyes are brown.

I guess my favorite color is brown.

As busy as you are, how do you make time for a personal life?

I don’t really see the distinction between personal life or any other kind of life. I am alive all the time, that’s as far as I think about it. If you’re asking about a relationship that’s not work oriented, that has always been a lower priority on my food chain.

Would you make time for me, Henry?

I’d have to check my schedule.

Hmph.

You’ve never been married (that we know of). In your mind, what are some of the advantages of remaining single?

I don’t have to matter to anyone if I go somewhere and get killed. I don’t have to slow down when I don’t want to. Basically, I have options, that’s key.

We don’t have to get married.

I am glad you’re a progressively-minded person.

What is the scariest situation in which you ever found yourself?

Getting shot at was pretty scary.

How did you handle it?

By standing in the right place so the bullets missed.

Would you protect me?

As best I could.

Swoon.

What are three bands we should be listening to?

The Hawnay Troof, Tinariwen [and] Marnie Stern.

Though I was born here in Shreveport, I grew up in a hick town in Nowhere, East Texas, with the closest mall being 45 minutes away. Occasionally, I prevailed upon my mom to drive me there, where I would go straight to the record store which, at that time, had several free music magazines in racks at the front of the store. When I was maybe about 13 or 14, I got one in which there was an article about you. Naturally, it mentioned Black Flag. Curious, I somehow got my hands on a Black Flag cassette, and it was, to say the least, a revelation. I hadn’t known before that music could be like that. Somehow or other, I figured out that Black Flag was part of a genre known as “punk music,” which led me to seek out other punk bands like the Sex Pistols, The Clash, The Kinks, etc. This style of music not only informed my musical tastes, it continues to influence me as a writer as well.

What is it about music that has the power to influence people so fundamentally, even across genres and mediums?

I think that music is like a dog. It’s hard not to like a dog that’s wagging its tail. Most music as a beat, all living humans have a heartbeat, I think this is a big part of it. Lyrics often speak louder than other forms for many people. There’s an emotional connection one can make with music. It’s the perfect partner, it never seeks divorce, never cheats on you, etc.

What qualities does the ideal woman possess in the year 2010?

A job would be good.

Would you be disappointed if we only had girl children?

Not at all.

And one final question…

Is it alright with you if we induct you into the Bachelor Girl Hall of Fame as an Honorary Bachelor Girl? You’ll be in the company of Gloria Steinem, Helen Gurley Brown and RuPaul. If that won’t convince you, you’re going to have to tell me what will, because I just don’t know.

It would be an honor.

—-

Likewise, Henry, we’re proud to count you among us. Welcome to the party!

Your lustful
Kel

Working Girl

March 1st, 2010

First, the bad news:

This past weekend, I was supposed to go see Henry Rollins’s spoken-word performance at Work Play in Birmingham.

It was also supposed to be a reunion of me and my partners in crime (Platinum Edition), Mere and Brandi.

Long story as short as possible, I didn’t get to go.

The problem?

What else? Money.

Yep, this Bachelor Girl’s pretty broke. Not like “can’t pay the light bill” broke (thank God), but more like “can’t justify a 450-mile road trip, two nights in a hotel and the-Lord-only-knows-how-many Martinis” broke.

I love being a freelancer, and more than I love the lifestyle it affords me is the fact that I get to do what I love for a living. The trade-off is, of course, that freelancing is very unpredictable. I never know for sure what each day holds, and, likewise, I never know for sure how many paychecks each month holds.

Therefore, it became necessary for me to get a part-time job. Dun dun DUUUUUN!

At first, I thought for sure that this part-time job would involve me either wearing a g-string or asking people if they want fries with that multiple times per day.

Now, the good news:

Fortunately, one of Jessica the Web Mistress’s friends was looking for a part-time editor!

So not only did I find a part-time job with relative ease, it’s writing-related and I don’t have to wear pasties or a hairnet!

I started today, and it’s super cool. The people I work with are awesome and funny, I get to sit at a desk instead of a rickety kitchen table, I GET TO WORK ON A MACBOOK (can I get a amen?), I get to wield a red pen and

I GET TO WEAR CLOTHES INSTEAD OF PAJAMAS EVERY DAY! Woot!

It’s going to take me a little while to get back into the work-a-day routine again, though. Therefore, I’m streamlining and cutting myself a little slack this week. So if I’m late answering Bachelor Girl comments or lax about commenting on your blogs, it’s just because I’m enjoying being an active part of normal society again getting used to my new job.

Get ready to pee your pants, ’cause here comes the best news:

I got an interview with Henry Rollins!!!!!

Actually, I’m gonna give credit where it’s due: Intern Chris got me an interview with Henry Rollins. It took a lot of plotting, scheming and crossing of fingers, but yes, ladies and gentlemen, my future baby daddy graciously agreed to answer our questions, including a few that were…um, how shall we say, less than professional. You’ll see what I mean when I post it, which will be

TOMORROW!!!!!

It’s the first Bachelor Girl Celebrity Interview! Can you even believe it?! Do you kind of want to barf from the excitement?! I know I do.

After our Henry interview was complete (and Chris and I were finished jumping up and down and squealing in my kitchen), we were all like, “Oh my God! We can actually do this! Celebrities will, like, talk to us and s–t!”

Riding high on a wave of Henry-induced excitement, Chris said, “We gotta do another one. Who’s it gonna be? Think. Go big.”

I paused for just a second before I screamed the first name that came to mind:

PATRICK STEWART!!”

Your dreaming-big
Kel

Holy Crap! It’s the Weekend! (Again.)

February 26th, 2010

We here at Bachelor Girl are trying to keep all of you entertained, and by that I mean we’re trying to keep you updated about the events and performances going on around our area to help you schedule your calendars. You know, so many social engagements, so little time, etc.

First, though, a huge THANK YOU to all who came out and supported the Benefit for Dan Sanchez this past Tuesday at Tiki Bar. I haven’t heard the final tally, but the support and love shown for Dan should greatly ease some of his economic worries while he is out of work taking his chemo treatments.

This weekend, there are many, many things going on that I think are terribly exciting. This is one of the most diverse gatherings of performances I can remember in a long time.

You know, interpretive dance has really never been my thing, but then I really got to thinking about it. The Arodasi Dancers are putting on a show called The Beautiful Beatle Garden at artspace tonight, Saturday and Sunday. Essentially, this is beautiful women dressed in hippie outfits lithely dancing to 16 Beatles songs. Are you old enough to remember the “free love” 60’s? Even if you aren’t, take your boy/girl to this spectacle, and I bet after an hour of this show, you will truly be able to “love the one you’re with!” Tonight and Saturday at 8:00 p.m., Sunday at 3:00 p.m., and if you dress up in hippie attire, you get in for half price!

Also this weekend is the Marjorie Lyons Playhouse production of Tennessee Williams’s play Summer and Smoke. This play is a wonderful story of the South filled with loneliness, love and desire. It’s got enough southern drawl to make you want to wear a hat and drink a lot, even in the shi–y weather we’ve been having. The play starts at 8:00 p.m. tonight and Saturday and 2:00 p.m. Sunday. Read our gal Kel’s review of this show here.

Artspace is also hosting the opening of an exhibit called Collector’s Eye, inspired by local collectors and featuring works collected over the years by artspace patrons the late Hood Goldsberry and his wife Linda. This promises to be a really fantastic look at some of the pieces collected by some of Shreveport-Bossier’s most rabid art collectors. Yes, that is two c’s in eccentric! Opening reception is at 5:30 p.m. tonight, and, of course, the cash bar will be open and local group Muzikology will provide music. I’ve seen these guys at Noble Savage, and they’re really cool.

Have you ever heard of Soul Circus? These guys are fronted by longtime Shreveport singer Rohn Maxey, and I can’t think of a better way to describe them other than to say they are a traveling party. They only take their musical chops seriously, and everything else gets thrown out the door. They have a man, known only as “Funk Clown,” who plays a keytar. Remember those, the keyboards on straps that you would see in every Wham! video? And you will know him when you see him; he’s one of the baddest keyboard mothers in this town. They are returning to The Rustic Cowboy tonight at 9:00 p.m.

Saturday is also filled with interesting things to see and do. Along with the theatre and art openings, local renaissance man Mr. Christopher will be playing music from his latest CD, Less is More at Columbia Café at 3:00 p.m. He usually brings along surprises and special guests, and he has a monster voice. Plus I can’t imagine a more laid-back venue than Matthew Linn’s place.

Early Saturday evening, Robinson Film Center is showing all of the features nominated for Best Short and Best Animated Short. For 10 bucks, you get to see 10 Oscar-nominated short features! Or, if your ADD is like mine, you can spend $5.00 and just watch the cartoons! Whee! We NEVER would get to see these until this Absolute Godsend Film Center arrived downtown. The animated features start at 6:00 p.m. and the live action features start at 7:30 p.m. on Saturday and then again on Sunday at 3:30 p.m. and 5:00 p.m.!! How cool is it that you have a chance to see the more obscure Oscar performances, thanks to the Robinson?!

Alright, now let’s say you’re bored out of your mind and a road trip is in order. Armed with a full cooler and a designated driver (of course), check out WWE/RAW at Tyler’s Oil Palace Saturday at 7:30 p.m.! To me, wrestling is just so-so, but wrestling with a good buzz and on the road…HIGHLY entertaining! Grab a gang and get after it. Tickets are $15.00 and you’ll get an opportunity to see conservative Republicans at their God-fearin’ best!

Last but not least, this weekend, late, late, after the wrestling and the art and the interpretive dance, my buddy Thom E. Gunn’s new band, Lickerbox, will be playing at Mojo’s starting around midnight. The great thing about this is they’re going to debut their rendition of Queen’s epic “Bohemian Rhapsody” or (”that song from Wayne’s World,” if you prefer) during which my friend will play both drums and keyboard and sing as well. I am sure it’s going to be awesome, but we probably won’t remember on Sunday!

Your getting-out-and-about-around-Shreveport
Chris

She’s Crafty/She Gets Around

February 24th, 2010

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I think I might be sick.

Or have some sort of mental disorder.

All I know is, I NEED HELP.

My life has become unmanageable.

I have a problem, and it involves a glue gun.

I CANNOT STOP CRAFTING.

Frankly, I blame Tracey and Katie. It all started when they debuted their new blog dedicated to scrapbooking.

Now, I’m not much of a scrapbooker, but I love other crafts, particularly sewing. About the time Feast on Scraps came into my life, I realized my mom’s birthday was coming up. Giddy at the thought of playing with paper and glue, I went to MarthaStewart.com and found this project.

The next thing I knew, I was driving all over Shreveport trying to find a three-inch hole punch.

Having finally procured one, I proudly showed it to Intern Chris. “What the hell is that?” he asked, aghast. “I didn’t even know they made three-inch hole punches.”

So while he slaved away on the first Bachelor Girl Weekend Roundup, he had to do so while listening to the constant ka-thunk…ka-thunk…ka-thunk of my newest toy. The end result was this:

Birthday Banner.

High from the success of that project, I then decided to sew my mother’s birthday gift. I used a modified version of a pattern in Amy Karol’s book, Bend the Rules Sewing. That endeavor culminated in these:

Batik Coasters 1.

Batik Coasters 2.

I have since made two more sets using different fabrics and trims.

HELP. ME.

Mom’s birthday cake, seen here:

Graciecake.

came from the queen of Shreveport crafters, Megan McIntyre. Proof that crafting isn’t just a waste of time, Megan started her bakery business, Graciecakes, as a way to earn a living from home. Though she’s very young (and quite beautiful), Megan has a heart condition that keeps her from being able to work outside her home. So she came up with Graciecakes. Twenty bucks gets you a fancy little homemade cake (which is delicious, by the way) hand-delivered to almost anywhere in the Shreveport-Bossier area.

Like all craft addicts, Megan found herself unable to stop at just cakes, so she also started Glistening Grace, a hairbow-making business. She sells them from her home as well as at Sprout Studio on Line Avenue. Up to now, her bows have been for babies and little girls, but she recently started making headbands for big girls (like me!) as well.

I’ll be the proud owner of a Glistening Grace headband sometime in the very near future, but until then, I started thinking back to this gorgeous felt-flower headband Jessica the Web Mistress and I found in an Anthropologie store in Boston. One thing led to another, and soon I was making several variations of these.

Erik came by to see me yesterday, and he watched in horror as I repeatedly stabbed myself with a needle, trying to sew little pink felt petals together.

“This is out of control,” he announced.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should also tell you that I spent Monday afternoon helping my friend Katie make Roman shades for her dining room windows.

My name is Kelly, and I am a craft addict.

Your letting-go-and-letting-Martha-Stewart
Kel

P.S. Crafted anything good lately? Like all good addicts, I’m searching for my next fix.

Holy Crap! It’s the Weekend!

February 19th, 2010

After weeks of debauchery followed by repentance after Fat Tuesday, do not think for one moment that the twin cities of Shreveport and Bossier are hibernating. This weekend is absolutely jam-packed with things to do, places to be and people to see.

Thus begins our foray into The Bachelor Girl Weekend Roundup.

Friday and Saturday are filled with cool stuff and shows around town. Friday night, things are really hoppin’. Starting at 7:00 p.m. at the Naked Bean on Line Avenue (next door to Earthereal Restaurant & Bakery), there is a CD release party for Shreveport’s own MR. CHRISTOPHER (yeah, all caps, baby!) featuring selections from his new album Less is More followed by The Dirk Quinn Project, a fusion band from Kansas, of all places, and they are amazing.

Also Friday at Horseshoe Casino’s CMT Cross Roads Lounge, there is an actual Hollywood star playing onstage with the band The Honey Brothers. This is Adrian Grenier’s band, and they are fantastic (not just another movie-star-turned-musician like Keanu). These guys are really good. Show starts at 10:00 p.m., so you can do other stuff first and still make it. And, oh yeah, NO COVER.

Friday also marks the return of Baton Rouge’s killer ska band 6 Pack Deep! These guys are a heavy rock and funk band with a four-piece horn section, and they have more energy than your bi-polar neighbor! Super high-voltage, and they play the “Imperial Stormtrooper” theme during the show. They should start around 11:00 p.m., would be my guess, and it really is impressive to see these kids jumping around like old-school Red Hot Chili Peppersexcept none of these guys wear socks, if you know what I mean.

If you are looking for a little more laid-back live music event where you can sit comfortably, sip your Cosmo and chat with your friends, try Good Man’s Brother. A totally solid cover band made up of some of Shreveport’s wily veterans at Sam’s Town Casino. Also, out at Harrah’s Louisiana Downs, an absolute siren named Jessica Brock fronts Caravan. She’s got almost as much soul as Aretha, and this is 110- pound blonde chick! If she weighed 325, she’d have as much soul as Aretha, and I am serious. Both shows start around 7:00 p.m. And Dan Garner brings Cookie and the Kingcakes to the Noble Savage on Texas Street at 8:00 p.m. Louisiana food, culture and music ooze from Dan’s pores!!

Theatre-wise, I heard from a reliable source (Kel) that C.E. Byrd High School Drama Department’s production of Funny Girl is excellent. Byrd’s own Taylor Foss plays the lead, Fanny Brice, and that girl sings her heart and lungs out. Shows at 7:00 p.m. Friday and Saturday in the C.E. Byrd Auditorium, and tickets are $5.00 at the door. Musical theatre is not something you get to see in this town very often, so you should take advantage of this.

Saturday, February 20 marks the return of a couple of Shreveport’s best and brightest to their roots. Blues greats Pocket Change return to Lee’s on East Kings Highway after a long absence. Ken Jacobs and Tony Cascio play some of the most authentic rock ‘n roll in this town and are quite impressive. Man, if guitar solos give you chill bumps like they do me, bring your jacket. You know Lee’s: show’s 8:00 p.m. to midnight, and the dancers will be out!

Also, Saturday is a very special day at The Warehouse on Commerce Street. Shreveport’s favorite sons The American Tragedy are back for a rare Shreveport gig and a worthy cause as well. This show is a benefit for Madison Johnson, a second-grader at Bellaire Elementary School recently diagnosed with leukemia. I effing HATE cancer. I will be there to support and you should be too. The Tragedy will start around midnight because openers Ultrasuede, who have been recording with ex-Shreveporter Adam Hamilton at his L.A. studio, and a really cool young band, Porcelain Arms, play before. Every dime from this show goes to Madison’s family, even The Warehouse’s marketing and promotion expenses, so your $15 does not get watered down.

If you want to feel like you’re in a speakeasy in Brooklyn drinking bathtub gin, try out A.J. Haynes and the Monkey Business. This girl, A.J., is a Centenary College alumna, and if you haven’t heard her sing, do it. Do it now! Unbelievable. Etta James, Edith Piaff, and Nina Simone are some of the ladies with whom I would put her in a category standing side by side. They are at Tiki on East Kings Highway, next door to Lee’s, and they start at 9:00 p.m.

Last but definitely not least, Tuesday February 23, please come out and support Los Angeles native/adopted Shreveport son, Dan Sanchez. Starting at 4:30 p.m., we’ll have a day of music and fellowship to honor Dan and to curse the state of healthcare in our country. Dan was recently diagnosed with cancer and is undergoing chemo at LSUHSC because, as a hard-working and dedicated musician, he has no access to affordable healthcare, and that sucks. $10.00 gets you music all day and all night long from 4:30 p.m. to 1:30 a.m.! Come get some and help out. You might even scam an autograph from Intern Chris while you’re there!

Your workin’-for-the-weekend
Chris